President seeks cover behind child from science fair catapult!/AshleyCodianni/status/471442312862912513

We certainly wouldn’t suggest that President Obama would hide behind a child to avoid being hit by a catapult projectile at a kids’ science fair. Mashable’s Ashley Codianni would, however, and who are we to argue?

Here’s another angle.!/AnnaDsays/status/471347732100448258

… and this video is pretty incriminating.!/markknoller/status/471336854097498115

Someone get that man a tiara!!/Cecilia44/status/471439257715113984


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These Castaways Harnessed Their Inner Chuck Noland When They Needed To Be Rescued

Three men found themselves stranded on Fanadik Island, which is part of the Federated States of Micronesia, earlier this month.

They were traveling from the island of Pulap when a massive wave overturned their 19-foot boat. Because the world is a terrible place and nothing is fair, they then had to swim two miles in total darkness until they reached dry land.

The following morning, they pulled off a movie-worthy stunt that would make Chuck Noland from “Cast Away” proud.

The U.S. Coast Guard received a search request on Tuesday, April 5, at which point they sent out a rescue team to locate the unlucky mariners.

After a few days, the stranded men started panicking, so they gathered some palm fronds and got down to business.

Channeling every search-and-rescue movie in the history of forever, they spelled out “HELP” in the sand and started flailing their arms at the sky.

According to a Coast Guard press release, the men were found after a Navy P-8 Madfox 807 aircrew from Misawa Air Base in Japan spotted the clever castaways. I feel like they probably weren’t enthused when the rescue crew showed up with an even smaller boat than the one that failed them the first time, but such is life, I guess.

I’m going to try this when Monday rolls around.

Eat your heart out, Noland.

(via BuzzFeed)

If you’re having a tough day, just remember that you could be writing with palm fronds in Micronesia right now. It’s all a matter of perspective, friends.

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Michael Moore reminds us who was in charge of Flint for 84 straight years

Ahead of tonight’s Democratic debate in Flint, Michigan, Flint native Michael Moore has a well needed history lessons for Democrats — you built that:

But don’t worry, Dems! He still wants to have Michigan’s governor arrested:

Tonight’s debate — moderated by CNN’s Anderson Cooper “in partnership with the Flint Journal and” —begins at8 p.m. ET:

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People question the new White House National Defense Resource Preparedness executive order!/RepDanGordon/status/181182257711685633

Twitter is buzzing with news of this.

The Official White House page is here

Sec. 201.  Priorities and Allocations Authorities.  (a)  The authority of the President conferred by section 101 of the Act, 50 U.S.C. App. 2071, to require acceptance and priority performance of contracts or orders (other than contracts of employment) to promote the national defense over performance of any other contracts or orders, and to allocate materials, services, and facilities as deemed necessary or appropriate to promote the national defense, is delegated to the following agency heads:

Some of the twitter buzz:!/adamsbaldwin/status/181243996864131073!/hoffmanmichael/status/181249936283799553

@pampollard A must read. Complete power grap by our POTUS

— Daren Ward (@derwood7) March 18, 2012

For those of you freaking out about the latest Obama executive order — chill. It just reorganizes orders from Reagan and Clinton

— David Martosko (@dmartosko) March 18, 2012

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‘Outrageous’: Sen. Ted Cruz finds justification to #AbolishtheIRS!/SenTedCruz/status/344845293306654720

From the blog post Sen. Cruz referenced at Hot Air:

A pro-life legal group, Alliance Defending Freedom, released audio today of a 2012 phone call between an IRS agent and the head of a Texas pregnancy counseling group. During the phone call, IRS agent Sherry Wan is heard lecturing Ania Joseph about how she can’t have a tax exemption and also push her religious beliefs— a bit of advice that would be quite interesting to every church in America.

The IRS has demonstrated that those who aren’t first and foremost members of the church of big government are going to have problems, and good on Sen. Cruz for helping shine some light on what’s under these flipped rocks.

We’ll close this out with the shudder-inducing tweet of the day:!/cal4570/status/344818059304919040


‘Guilty as charged’: Sen. Ted Cruz seeks retweets from fellow Obamaphobes

Maybe ‘someone who took an oath to uphold it will read it’: Ted Cruz tweets the Bill of Rights

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